Survive and thrive summer holiday guide
Each week I’ll be sharing tips and strategies to look after your own wellbeing, based on other parent carers’ lived experience.
First things first, let’s just stop and take stock. We are still living in a pandemic. The last 18 months have been uncertain, exhausting and unprecedented. We must recognise our achievements however small they may seem: getting food on the table, home-schooling or simply carrying the emotional load of parenting in a pandemic.
Well done to all parents.
Take a breath and try to ground yourself in this moment. Acknowledge things have been hard, but you are here now and this can be your focus for a moment of peace.
Focus on the short term when it feels overwhelming
Facing a long summer holiday ahead may feel daunting at first and we can go into overdrive, planning away, or crumble at the thought of it. When things become overwhelming, try to focus on the day-to-day, and think about what’s in your control to do right now.
It can help to identify what’s important to you, and concentrate on your short-term needs and those of the people close to you. Try breaking down each day or each week into manageable, achievable tasks, and focus on each goal in turn. Don’t set yourself overly ambitious tasks that may lead to a cycle of disappointment if not achieved. Recognise what’s possible in your situation.
Time Management
You may find it helpful to use a strategy called ‘Do, Delegate, Delay or Delete’ to work out what your priorities are and manage your time when you have many competing demands.
If something is important and urgent just get it done. There’s a phrase ‘eat the frog first thing in the morning’ which refers to those jobs that we often dread but need doing. Best to get them done first and then it frees up the rest of the day.
There may be urgent activities but it is not important for you to do them. You can delegate to other people – can the children or others help wash up, walk the dog or take responsibility for something.
Other activities may not be urgent but they are important that you do them, for example, meeting up with friends. If necessary we can delay these until there’s a more convenient time for us. But it’s crucial that you don’t always delay the activities that are important to you. Hopefully by freeing up time in other areas you can ensure you spend time doing the activities that you have chosen. (If you are feeling low and isolated it may be that opportunities to meet up with other people are urgent and important so make sure you prioritise them).
Finally there are the things that are not important and not urgent. Doom-scrolling social media or other people trying to involve us in things we don’t wish to be involved in. These activities can be deleted.
Realistically we know there are ongoing activities that are never fully ‘done’: the washing, the to-do list and all the emails that need answering. With this in mind does it matter if we take a few moments for ourselves during the day? Ensure your summer includes something for you.
A simple caregiver meditation by Dr Kirsen Neff is a good opportunity to take a moment for yourself. You deserve these moments. Ensure you take them, everyday.
Wishing you a good week and I’ll be back with more strategies next week.
You can follow me @affinityhub
Jo Griffin, Parent Carer and Counselling Psychologist.
My book, Day by Day: Emotional Wellbeing in Parents of Disabled Children is available here: